The Call: A Psychic Paranormal Romantic Comedy Page 7

  I'm just going to pretend like last night didn't happen. She thought I was drunk. I just won't tell her otherwise, Jake decided.

  Ellie snorted and then giggled.

  "Your ball handling is really not all that impressive. I don't discuss it with my friends. Jacob Trellis, this is Charlie and Eleanor Hapner. Ellie was my college roommate and has been my very best friend since the first day of freshman year," Matilda made the introduction.

  Jake grinned. "Was she young and impressionable then? I'm sorry I missed that phase."

  "I taught her how to properly bounce her boobs for attention. You're welcome," Ellie said.

  Charlie choked on his beer.

  ✽✽✽

  Two hours later, Connor was opening champagne to toast the sale of his business and the growth of his beer label. As part of the agreement, the name of the beer would be "Aisling na Meala" - or dream of honey in Gaelic. He was retiring in style, worth well over three million dollars.

  When Matilda gave Sam a bit side-eye at the price tag, he said, "Don't look at me like that. I'm not making Trellis Beer. That's narcissistic. I regret naming the company 'Trellis Industries' every damn day. It wasn't supposed to get this big. The name is pretty. Only the Irish will know it's a dumb name for beer."

  "That's not why I'm giving you side-eye," she said.

  "Oh. The price? It was a bargain. We're going to sell a lot of beer. And old Irishmen that are nice to wee women should get to do whatever they want in retirement."

  Matilda hugged Sam. He's good people.

  "Come to Sunday dinner with me this week. We'll celebrate," he said. "And you might understand some things a little better." It wasn't really a question.

  ✽✽✽

  SAM: I'm bringing someone to dinner tonight, Mom.

  DARLA: Holy hell!

  NOAH: No shit?

  JAKE: Wow. Who?

  ✽✽✽

  Matilda got into Sam's Mercedes right on time on Sunday.

  "My parents live in Oak Park. We've got a little bit of a drive, which is good," he said.

  "Good why?" She asked.

  "We need to talk about the shit show that is Stephanie-Bella."

  "Jake's girlfriend?"

  "Yes, Matilda. Jake's horrible girlfriend," Sam said.

  "Sam, it's not fair that you all talk smack about her behind her back. I would hate that."

  "Yes, I know. But, that's because you're not a bitch," Sam said. "I'm trying to warn you so you don't get offended, Matilda. I'm not being mean. I don't say anything behind her back that I don't say to her face."

  "You've called her a shrew to her face?"

  "Yes. Many times. She has a black soul, Matilda."

  "Well, that's not dramatic at all, Sam."

  He sighed. "You'll see."

  ✽✽✽

  "Are you afraid of dogs?" Sam asked.

  "No, why?"

  "Roscoe has no manners, but he's harmless," Sam explained.

  When he opened the door, a giant Rottweiler charged them. When Sam said "Roscooooe", the dog flopped on his back and slid the remaining distance of the entryway to them while howling along.

  "That's hysterical," Matilda laughed while scratching the dog's chest.

  Darla came into the entryway to greet Sam's guest and paused when she saw Matilda. "Sweetheart! I'm so glad you're here."

  While Darla was hugging Matty, she glared daggers at Sam. "Dinner will be ready in 20 minutes. Just Jake and Adrian are missing. Adrian said he might be late."

  "You have a beautiful home, Darla," Matilda said. And she meant it.

  "Thank you, Matty. There was a different house here while the kids were little. Then when Sam started making big money, he built this house so we'd have more room for things that were important to us.

  "We're headed into the big room, which will comfortably seat at least 25 people. The kitchen is restaurant-grade, and the dining room will seat up to 30, but we don't have all the sections in the table right now.

  "There are three bedrooms and five bathrooms. We rarely have house guests, but we often have dinner guests, so extra bathrooms are nice. Come on in."

  They had walked into a giant room that would have passed for a ballroom in earlier eras. The Trellis clan was sitting at one end of the room, staring at her. And Sam. Both of them. Together.

  Oh. Shit. I didn't think about that. I really hope this isn't a date.

  Sam leaned over and muttered. "Relax, they're not wondering if this is a date. They're wondering if I've properly prepared you for Bella."

  Well, that was weird. Thanks for answering my unspoken question, Sam.

  Sam gave her a small smile.

  "Matty!" Hank said as he jumped up from a chair. "I'm so glad you can join us! What a great surprise."

  Will stood up next. "Sam did you-"

  "I tried. She still thinks I'm exaggerating," Sam shrugged.

  Will stepped over and grabbed Matilda's shoulders to turn her toward him. "Matilda, she's terrible. She's going to be outright cruel to you. She's going to say horrible shit. Don't respond. Just don't acknowledge it. We'll smack it down."

  Wow. I didn't think Will liked me. This is unexpected.

  "Are you listening? Matilda, listen. Do you understand?" He asked. "They're going to be here soon."

  "Why would you do this to her?" Ethan demanded of Sam as he hugged Matilda. "Why wouldn't you warn us? Beth isn't even here."

  "You have no respect for dibs," Noah said.

  Huh?

  The front door opened and closed. The entire family held their breath. Adrian walked in. "Holy hell! Uh, hi Matilda! Jake's not coming this week, right?"

  "Wow, you guys are really freaking out," Matilda said. "It'll be fine. Even if she's horrible, she's not the first bully I've encountered."

  Hank pressed his lips together like he was trying to hold words inside.

  Matty waved to Matthew and Luke, who were still in the seating area. "Hi, guys."

  Luke's eyes looked huge. "Matty, I'm so sorry in advance. I'm so sorry."

  Matthew opened his mouth to say something just as the front door was opening again.

  ✽✽✽

  "Ugh, that dog is so nasty," Bella bitched.

  Jake pet the dog so he'd calm down.

  "Why do you touch that nasty animal? Go wash your damn hands right now. You're not touching anything of mine with those hands."

  "We're back here," Darla called.

  Wow, it's quiet. The suspense over who Sam was bringing to a family dinner was killing Jake. Sam didn't date. Ever.

  "GO WASH YOUR HANDS NOW," Bella screeched.

  "Oh, for fuck's sake, please shut up," Jake said in his rush to get to the big room.

  When he walked in, his family was standing in the middle of the room, completely silent and staring at him.

  What the fuck?

  "Hi everyone, what's going on?" Jake asked.

  He found Sam in the crowd.

  He's holding someone's hand! Holy Fuck!

  Then he followed Sam's arm to the hand, and that hand to a body. A very short body. He couldn't see her because Will was blocking the view, but, all of a sudden, Jake knew this was not going to be a good dinner.

  As he walked toward the group, most of his family shifted to make room. Sam let go of her hand. Will didn't move.

  William gave Jake a look that clearly said, "Don't fuck this up, man." And then stepped to the side.

  "Hi, Matty. I didn't know you were coming to dinner. I have to go wash my hands," and then Jake turned around and left the room without a backward glance.

  ✽✽✽

  "Who the fuck are you?" Asked a sneering voice from beside Hank.

  Matilda shifted her gaze from the door Jake just exited through to the six-foot-tall ultra-leggy, ultra-blonde supermodel left in his wake.

  No wonder Darla calls her the gazelle. Holy fuck. I've never felt so incredibly inadequate in my entire life.

  "Ah, Bella, this is Matilda Benton. Sh
e has been consulting on the Beer project with us," Hank said.

  "Oh," she smirked. "You work for Jake?"

  "No," Hank corrected. "She works for me."

  "We're celebrating the purchase of a beer recipe and bar tonight. The contract was signed on Friday," Sam said.

  "Ugh, beer," Bella said.

  OK… She's kinda bitchy but-

  "Are you a midget? Like, a little person? Why are you so fucking small?" Bella asked.

  Wow.

  "Um. No. Just petite."

  "God, your hair is fucking awful. Why would anyone want carrot orange fucking frizzy hair? You can dye that shit, you know. And you didn't even cover up your damn freckles. It's like you fucking fell from nature's ugly tree and are too stupid to know it. Your ass is huge," she went on.

  Matilda started laughing. She couldn't help it. It was just so over the top.

  "I don't know who you're parodying, but it's fucking amazing. Do you practice sneering?"

  Bella put a shocked look on her face and sucked in air like she was going to start screeching.

  "Holy fuck," Matilda said. "You're a model. Have you seen how many lines that expression causes on your skin?"

  Will was the first one to start laughing, followed by Hennessy. Then they were all yucking it up.

  "Carrots," Will said. "Wee little carrots. Never mind." And then he patted her head as the group turned to go into the dining room.

  ✽✽✽

  Jake could hear Matilda laughing from the hallway. He didn't want to step back in that room. Why would Sam do this? Why bring her here when he knew Bella would be here?

  "-Do you practice sneering? Holy fuck, you're a model. Have you seen how many lines that expression causes on your skin?" Matilda asked.

  Holy fuck, I love the sass. Fiery, feisty little redhead, I adore you.

  Jake was expecting a Bella explosion. Maybe tears. Maybe it'd be so bad they could leave. Leaving would be good.

  I can't sit at a table next to Bella with Matilda there. I just can't.

  Fully willing to admit he was attracted to the tiny ginger woman, Jake wasn't yet willing to admit why the thought of sitting at a table with her and the shrew was upsetting.

  The only sound from the big room was laughter. Bella was blissfully silent. He could hear the rumble of William's voice as he said something to Matilda before walking into the hallway and giving Jake a look.

  Yes, I know I'm dumb.

  ✽✽✽

  "Wow," Matilda said as she got into Sam's car.

  "I tried to warn you," he said.

  "I can't even-"

  "I know."

  "Why is he with her? It doesn't seem like he loves her. How long have they been together?"

  "Over a year."

  "Why in the world is he with her, Sam?" Matilda asked.

  "Because he's dumb," Sam said with a laugh.

  "So, what was I supposed to understand better after dinner?"

  "What do you understand better after dinner?" He asked back.

  "You guys weren't exaggerating," she laughed.

  "We don't exaggerate. We weren't being cruel. She is horrible. And William is going to beat the shit out of me tomorrow," Sam said with a chuckle.

  "Yeah, that surprised me! I didn't think he cared for me," she admitted.

  "Oh. That's not you. That's Will. He's like that now. Not a lot of emotion going in or coming out."

  "Gawd, how does Jake sleep next to her at night without worrying about getting disemboweled?"

  "He doesn't sleep next to her. She has her place. He has his place," Sam said.

  "It must be incredible hate sex," Matty laughed.

  Sam shook his head.

  "On to brewing beer!" She cheered.

  Sam laughed. "Lots of work to get done there. It's the last week in March. Do you think we can have early samples for the Holiday Conference in mid-November?"

  "They won't have final labels. It won't be marketed yet. But you should be able to announce it and have samples by then."

  "Then, that's our goal."

  Chapter 6 - April

  The ball magically fell into the pocket with no other contact from anything on the table.

  "You just shook the table!" Matty accused.

  "I did no such thing," Jake said sanctimoniously.

  "Yes, you did! There was no other contact."

  "Gravity happens, sometimes it just-" Jake couldn't even finish the sentence without laughing.

  "Blah blah blah! You cheated. I saw it," Matilda teased.

  "I didn't cheat," Jake laughed. "The ball moved! I can't help it. That's the way gravity works!"

  "Cheater!" Matilda giggled.

  Jake intentionally bumped another ball into a pocket.

  "Hey!" She kept giggling.

  "If I keep bumping them in, will you keep giggling? Because that makes me happy," he admitted.

  She pulled a face at him. "Girls giggle. Women chuckle or laugh."

  "Nope, I'm pretty sure that was a giggle," Jake said. "Maybe because you're the size of a little girl?"

  "Now listen here, Herman Munster-"

  "Herman Munster! I don't have a t-shirt for that. Go back to calling me Shaggy, Polly Pocket," Jake laughed.

  "Polly Pocket?! Fuck you, too! I'm not that small!" Matilda said indignantly.

  "Matilda, you're so tiny I can pick you up with one arm. William could run with you on his shoulder for like ten miles."

  "Well, Will is like Heman! That's not my fault!" Matilda exclaimed.

  "Why does Will get to be Heman and I'm stuck with Herman Munster? That's not fair," Jake faux whined.

  "Because you're more long-limbed and lumbering and he's more Masters of the Universe. Go gain like fifty pounds of muscle, then toss me over a shoulder and run around for a while. Then we'll talk!"

  "What are you - No! Jake! Put me down!" Matilda yelled as Jake threw her over a shoulder and then spun in circles. "Put me down! I'm going to puke on your ass and then we'll both be sorry!"

  Chapter 7 - May

  Jake returned to his office after a meeting to find Matilda standing on two large books, on top of the pool table, barefoot. She was reaching into the drop ceiling.

  "What the hell are you doing?!" Jake laughed.

  "Shut up, I'm short! This is how short people compensate," Matilda laughed. She could barely reach the connection. Barely.

  "But, what are you doing up there? And where are your shoes?"

  "My shoes are on the floor. I can't wear shoes on the pool table, it'll ruin the felt," Matilda said in her best 'duh' voice.

  "OK, but what are you doing up there? This doesn't look safe," Jake said.

  "Wait for it!" Matilda called.

  "What am I waiting for? Does your t-shirt say 'Juicy'?" Jake was fascinated.

  "Just wait for it! OK, turn out the lights," she said.

  "It's daylight, babe. I can't turn out the sun." Jake said.

  "Just turn out the lights! Don't ruin it for me."

  Jake flipped off the office lights. "The 'Juicy' t-shirt glows in the dark. OK. I'm going to need some time alone now," he laughed.

  Matilda laughed. "It was a gift from Ellie. She loves this t-shirt. It is not work appropriate, so stop looking at my boobs."

  "Ellie is officially my second favorite person on the planet, and it's my favorite t-shirt. Better than Shaggy," Jake teased.

  "Shush, you're making me feel awkward. You're dating a bitchy supermodel, go look at her boobs."

  "Meh," Jake said.

  "Well, go talk to your favorite person while I finish this. You're very distracting. Tell Sam I said hi and to come over when the ball thwacks. He'll like this, too," Matilda said, blushing.

  "I am talking to my favorite person," Jake said, laughing at her.

  Matilda pulled a face at him. "I have a feeling your favorite person at any given time is the woman with the tightest t-shirt around you," she laughed. "I'm almost done."

  She reached up again and swu
ng an Aisling na Meala bar light down over the pool table.

  "Yay!" Matilda clapped as Jake laughed.

  "Fun!" Jake said. "Now go back to reaching into the ceiling. The t-shirt shows off your belly when you stretch. It's nice for me."

  Matilda turned beet red. "Shush. I was out running errands when I got the message the light was done. I picked it up and brought it here so I wouldn't have to take it home and back again. Now shit's all weird. Go back to oggling your supermodel and leave us lesser mortals to our fun!" She grinned.

  Jake's smile seemed… sad.

  When she stepped over to the chair to climb down, he stepped over and put her on her feet.

  Jake looked at her suspiciously. "Did you just sniff me?"

  "Yes, yes I did," she admitted.

  "Why?"

  "Because your fleece no longer smells like you. And you smell really good."

  "Does that mean you're going to bring my fleece back?"

  "Absolutely not," Matilda said.

  "Booo!" Jake laughed.

  "Has the supermodel taught you nothing? Girls don't return boy clothes."

  His smile was sad again.

  ✽✽✽

  "So, how was the date with John?" Eric asked.

  "He was really nice," Matilda said.

  "Charlie said he's a great guy. You going to see him again?" Ellie asked.

  "Meh," Matilda made a so-so gesture.

  "Eric, I know what our problem is," Ellie declared.

  "Pfft. Eleanor, I'm no fool. I also know what our problem is," Eric replied.

  "There's no problem," Matilda said, blushing.

  "The problem is that this guy's not Prince Charming," Ellie said.

  "Bah!" Matilda said.

  "Tell me I'm wrong!" Ellie said. "Look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong."

  "There's no problem! I'm just really into this project and there wasn't a lot of chemistry, for him either I don't think," Matilda said.

  "Oh, bullshit! He called Charlie this morning talking about how gorgeous you are," Ellie said.

  Eric rolled his eyes. "Would you please just make a pass at Prince Charming? Please? Like, invite him over for wine and sex and see where it goes?"